If you want to take the air out of an ambitious young creative staffer, suggest a brand mascot. The mere thought elicits eye rolling that would make the most perturbed 15-year-old jealous. Not that it’s hard to understand, mind you. Even the creakiest among us engaged in the persuasive crafts balk a bit at the notion of, say, a dog-riding monkey. (It’s a regional thing. Oh, Whiplash. You rogue.)

 

So why, exactly, do icons like Mr. Whipple (who, I understand, may rejoin us in the near future), the Energizer bunny, Betty Crocker and the Maytag repairman last so long? Simplest reason of all. They work. They work, that is, unless someone decides they’re a bit smarter and engineers a misguided makeover.

 

Take the Maytag repairman, for instance. Those of us old enough to remember can easily recall the first two iterations: character actors Jesse White followed by Gordon Jump. Still, after more than a year in his new manifestation, the uniform seems to lack the man.

 

I’m betting that somewhere over in Benton Harbor there are a few folks wondering why the new guy seems to have lost his touch. A few probably take it as proof that ad mascots are no longer relevant. So let’s consider the makeover.

 

The Maytag repairman of old was a purely sympathetic character. He was, after all, the loneliest man in town. That was even sadder because the old guy was so darned dependable. Pretty ironic, since his isolation was the direct result of Maytag’s astounding dependability (the most consumer-prized appliance attribute for as long as there’s been a market).

 

Pretty simple really. You loved the guy because he cared and paid a high price for caring. Maybe you could relate a bit because nearly everyone knows at least a small amount of loneliness. And, just like your old man, you could count on him.

 

The new guy? He’s relatively trim and considerably younger. And busy. Boy this guy’s busy. He’s out mixing it up everywhere you turn, fixing copiers, TVs, garage doors… Does he ever sleep? Sure, he’s efficient, but is there anything there to like? Anything that touches you? Nope. This is an empty suit.

 

How about dependable? At least he’s dependable, right?

 

Well, here’s the real kicker. If you pay very close attention and are skilled at ignoring your instincts while listening to the subtext, sure. To the rest of us, he’s a bit annoying. I mean really. Go home. Scratch the old basset hound behind the ears, pop open a beer and watch the game. Alone. Please.

 

The moral of the story? Brand mascots work when they’re perfectly tuned to the brand, however it might make art directors moan. Mess with that formula to try and be more “relevant” (whatever) and you’re being a wasteful spendthrift with all that brand equity.